Shelley vividly remembers the day her 12 year old son Tyler came home from school, breathlessly demanding her driver’s license and shoved it in her face asking “MOM, why don’t you have DONOR on your driver’s license!” She told him she didn’t know, that she thought donation was wonderful, and pleaded to have the conversation later; she was trying to work.
Tyler, passionate kid that he was, wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. He began to rattle off statistics, such as the number of people on the transplant waiting list and that each day people die simply because they don’t get the transplant they need. He also said he couldn’t understand why people would choose not to donate when they had the opportunity to make such a huge difference in other people’s lives, stating “It’s like taking a starving person to the grocery store and seeing all the food thrown away.”
Shelley listened and, eager to get back to work, finally gave in, told him she would change her license and tucked their conversation into the back of her mind. “He was so determined to get my attention.” Just a few weeks later she recalled their conversation when Tyler was struck by a car and fatally injured, grateful she had taken the time to listen. And when she was asked about giving the gift of life through her son’s organs and tissues she took a deep breath and agreed.
“I don’t know that I could have made that decision if he hadn’t been so passionate about how much he supported donation. There is a huge difference between making this kind of decision for myself or another adult family member, and being faced with this kind of decision for my youngest child. That was a lesson I didn’t expect to ever learn. It’s amazing what a parent can learn by listening to a twelve year old!” Tyler had made his wishes known.
Tyler’s liver, kidney, heart valves and tissues have provided the gift of life to grateful recipients. The recipient of Tyler’s liver is a teenage girl, which brings family and friends much comfort. “He can’t grow up in his body, but he can grow up in another body.”
Tyler’s friends continue to be involved in supporting donation, handing out green “donate life” wristbands and sharing Tyler’s passionate message. They also provide support to Shelley and Tyler’s older brother. “Thanks to Tyler, the kids have become ambassadors for donation.”
